Here’s the routine:

I pass the Kosovar/Macedonian border check-point. About 5 to 6 kilometers down the road (going towards Skopje) I see cars flickering their high-beams; signaling me that there’s a patrol coming up. So I enter the ‘on-guard’ mode; lights=check, belt=check, girlfriend-sitting-next-to-me belt=check, passengers in the back=who cares, speed=check…so as I prepare to pass the Macedonian police check-point and wave them goodbye - I notice them from the distance pointing a device that’s probably in use since the 80’s. As I get closer to them (in a considerable speed) I see one of them walk slowly towards the road and signal me with a hand stop-sign (from the 70’s) to pull me over. So I do…and here’s the procedure:

Cop: Hello Sir.
Me: Hey.
Cop: Documents, please.
Me: (mumbling and cursing them in Albanian as I hand him the documents) - there’s usually two cops.
Cop: Valon ha?
Me: Yes!
Cop: Get out of the car, please.
Me: (mumbling a tune)
Cop: You know the procedure - we keep your passport, you go to town (Skopje) - pay the fine at the bank and come back to pick up the passport (they even tell you this at 1am at night when there’s no banks open)
Me: hmmm.
Cop: (walking slowly towards his car)
Me: (observing)
Cop: (acting as if he’s about to write, and usually telling me the price of the ticket for something so stupid like: missing the KS country-sticker on the back of my car, missing the ‘triangle’, driving ‘to-fast’)
Me: Ok, sir…is there any other way to settle this.
Cop: What other way? (in a condesending tone)
Me: Let me treat you something!
Cop: What?
Me: Let me throw 10 Euros your way!
Cop asking the other Cop: What should we do?
Cop: Ok.
Me: Let me go to my car. (I pick up 10 Euros I keep always on the sun-blocker, walk towards them, give them 10 Eki’s, they hand me the passport, tell me to drive slower and that’s it.)

It’s pain in the ass going to Skopje, even though it’s somewhat of a fun-time. Kosovars spend so much money in Skopje, and experiences like these will kill the fun of it all and less and less people will go. Me for one, I’d rather find another spot and spend my hard earned 100 Euros.

Should they be more welcoming than this? I think Yes.

“I love Skopje on Sundays.”

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